One day, at an event honoring veterans, a young man asked where they had been stationed. An Airman, Soldier, and Marine are sitting around talking about hardships they faced on their last deployment. Pilots 5. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Where are you from? St. Only one. Killed bin Laden. Next to your name, the sergeant said, initial it. I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. Looking for military boot camp jokes? The only time you have too much fuel is when youre on fire. Collective Military Hardships One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. Read more. Do not use 27 packs of sticky notes to label everything in the barracks so the general wont have any questions during the inspection. Civilian CASUAL TEES are not acceptable. What happened when a soldier went into an enemy bar? They came up with that name using Operation Random Thesaurus. 130 Best Aviation Humor ideas | aviation humor, humor, aviation Aviation Humor 129 Pins 1y S Collection by STS Aviation Group Share Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Military Humor Aviation Fuel Aviation Humor Aviation Technology Airbus Boeing Airline Humor Airline Reservations People Fly Flight Attendant Life LinkedIn Aviation Quotes A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high. Bad altitude. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. 4. Rodrigues there? 7. Individual use is by implied consent. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. It was carefully encased in a Tupperware container and came with this note: Dick, when youre finished, can you mail back my container?. The MPs read the letter, saluted, and left. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil. Our bases Army Exchange Service carried a particular brand of underarm deodorant that I liked and bought for years. 1. 49. My startled classmate sat up and responded, Place a temporary filling, sir!. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. The Scouts at least have adult supervision. Why were the Marines invented? and his platoon of recruits were marching, their sergeant slipped and tumbled down a ravine. Some of the jokes on this list you may not fully understand or appreciate unless you were actually in the military, but most of them I think anyone can appreciate. If it doesnt move, pick it up. You do know that he could get ill from the bacteria on the toilet. Speed is life. A PETTY officer! 13:30 comes and goes. All of a sudden, a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks Is your car stuck sir?, The general climbs out, hands his keys over, and slides into the lieutenants car before saying, Nope. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. I was very nervous, she said. Passenger Cargo that talks or Self-loading freight, 58. Do you want to hear about my plane?. ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". Nothing, she said. You might be in the Coast Guard if your idea of aromatherapy is Simple Green and JP5. What do you call a training sergeant who's very kind and respectful? Whats the difference between God and a fighter pilot? There was one particular sergeant that worried about everything possible. Hey, Im from St. Louis too! he said. Our pilots FLY much better than they DRIVE so please remain seated until the captain finishes taxiing and brings the aircraft to a complete stop at the terminal, 13. His reply was quick and to the point: You didnt.. Even his son turned up. Our motto was We never retreat, we just backspace.. You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. She told me she warships them. If pilots screw up, they die. Because the Army needed heroes too. Keeping it safe for democracy. Lori Shandle-Fox. Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind. You might be a Coastie if you forget how to color coordinate normal civilian clothes after weeks of wearing only blue. Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin. What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth? I asked. Every military branch thinks that theyre the best, the most important, and in their own way the hardest working. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week" The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and eventually one of them will. What do you call a Marine that has an IQ of 160? How can you tell if theres an Air Force pilot at the bar? Theres a post recall and he went to work. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. Caller: OK. The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now.. In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments, 23. As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard. A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. Awesome page, I came out of the US Army in 92. Sometimes I think war is Gods way of teaching us geography. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. I could have as many babies as I want because giving birth is free. More information More like this Later, I spoke with Mom. Fish Food. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first shot. Put your hand up if youre the laziest., 24 men raised their hands, so the senior chief turns to the last man and says, Why didnt you raise your hand, sailor?, The sailor replies, It was too much trouble, senior chief.. A military private saying I learned this in boot camp My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. You had tents?, USAF: Birds ", The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband, or illegal drugs in your possession? On previous visits, she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. ", Warren replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Joy fell out, but you know, fifty quid is fifty quid". After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base, in Germany, with my eight siblings and me, all under age 11. Germany, like other NATO members, is protected by . She also liked her scotch. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. When I heard him describe the impending birth of his first child as when the baby has boots on the A friend paid my mother a visit. A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. What has a nose and flies, but can't smell? It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. Now, they are wanted for dessertion. ", Continental 635 "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers", 53. It helps to keep the pilot cool. An old Marine Sergeant was standing near the edge of the puddle with his fishing line in a puddle. We made a private sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks. I say again, stand down and divert your course. This poor old fool, thought the Navy officer, so he invited the old man inside to buy him a drink. Then one day I couldnt find it. Economy Class Conditions under which transportation of animals would constitute a criminal offence, 57. Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Waxing his plane A pilot got up bright and early, and told his wife he was going to wash and wax his plane. Its not weak, he replied. Minimum Connecting Time Time it takes an Olympic Gold Medal sprinter to run between two gates, 61. Corporal Wabo is a former Infantry Squad Leader with 3rd Bn 4th Marines that specialized in Mortars. Are you sure you followed the recipe?. !" Marine: "Wait, stop. Unless you can be Batman. Jokes about crayon eaters and narcissistic Air Force personnel will never get old, though. 29. How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? Sometime later, when the examination was Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment. While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told our meeting that we should expect to cross into Iraq in less than 24 hours. He then My gunnery sergeant and I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. These pilots' jokes can easily be turned into a pilot pun and other airlines' jokes. The list below includes humorous one-liners and stories that will make your military friends and family members laugh like never before. The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.". For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing! And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. Problems reported by Pilots and Solutions noted by Aircraft Engineers in aircraft Technical Logs. Aboard a troop carrier crossing the Atlantic, I noticed a seasick pal of mine losing it over the railing alongside several other soldiers. Later, I spoke with Mom. After a very heavy landing in Halifax, the Flight Attendant announced; Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate.

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